The realization
This Mother's Day weekend...
wasn't spent with my love, my partner, and father of my child as it was planned. Unbeknown, he had other plans and abandoned us with a kiss to return, but only his scent remained. He left on Friday, May 8th with loving smile and warmly embraced us both, to never be heard from on Saturday (our date night), or on Sunday (our first Mother's day out to church). Each day passed I cried out to God in pain and questions of why me Lord, praying that my overwhelming sorrow bypassed our baby. Because she is way too innocent to know what being dumped felt like before even being held in our loving arms. For a minute, it seemed as though God answered my prayers for a man and family then to have it go up in flames with the remaining soot on my face.
My mind was racing and wondering where he was and if he was ok but deep down I felt another hearts gripping him close and strong enough to ruin our plans for our new family made in love. I knew only a woman could make my man disappear and not care, not think if i was having morning sickness as he rubbed my back and held my hair up;not caring if I ate a snack or drank lots of water each day as he always did. He was always so overly attentive but just what I needed and love about him. Only another woman could remove my hand from his and place in hers. I cried and cried each day with extreme guilt and shame for believing his love scene for us was true. I begged God to calm me down and uplift this burden off me, so my baby could have some relief.
Finally, comes Monday and I master up enough energy to go to work knowing he would probably come home while I am not there, so I asked my mom to watch over the house awaiting his arrival. I was right! because soon as clock struck eleven his key opened the door and my mom called out his name, then called me within that same breath. She wailed in with fifty questions to protect her cub as well, her motherly instinct was to attack for all the pain she witnessed over mother's day weekend. She put me on the phone with him and immediately I began crying profusely to where I could not utter a clear word in translation to his. He was sorry and wanted to talk, I knew he was leaving me as soon as he uttered, "But baby I love you too". I literally was in little pieces at my cubicle and called my supervisor to leave for family emergency, with my voice in agony, he understood. Stay tuned for "The Big Talk". ...
wasn't spent with my love, my partner, and father of my child as it was planned. Unbeknown, he had other plans and abandoned us with a kiss to return, but only his scent remained. He left on Friday, May 8th with loving smile and warmly embraced us both, to never be heard from on Saturday (our date night), or on Sunday (our first Mother's day out to church). Each day passed I cried out to God in pain and questions of why me Lord, praying that my overwhelming sorrow bypassed our baby. Because she is way too innocent to know what being dumped felt like before even being held in our loving arms. For a minute, it seemed as though God answered my prayers for a man and family then to have it go up in flames with the remaining soot on my face.
My mind was racing and wondering where he was and if he was ok but deep down I felt another hearts gripping him close and strong enough to ruin our plans for our new family made in love. I knew only a woman could make my man disappear and not care, not think if i was having morning sickness as he rubbed my back and held my hair up;not caring if I ate a snack or drank lots of water each day as he always did. He was always so overly attentive but just what I needed and love about him. Only another woman could remove my hand from his and place in hers. I cried and cried each day with extreme guilt and shame for believing his love scene for us was true. I begged God to calm me down and uplift this burden off me, so my baby could have some relief.
Finally, comes Monday and I master up enough energy to go to work knowing he would probably come home while I am not there, so I asked my mom to watch over the house awaiting his arrival. I was right! because soon as clock struck eleven his key opened the door and my mom called out his name, then called me within that same breath. She wailed in with fifty questions to protect her cub as well, her motherly instinct was to attack for all the pain she witnessed over mother's day weekend. She put me on the phone with him and immediately I began crying profusely to where I could not utter a clear word in translation to his. He was sorry and wanted to talk, I knew he was leaving me as soon as he uttered, "But baby I love you too". I literally was in little pieces at my cubicle and called my supervisor to leave for family emergency, with my voice in agony, he understood. Stay tuned for "The Big Talk". ...
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